Things

Sometimes we get our minds wrapped around too many things at once and then we go into a place I'd like to call overdrive. So that leads me to lists. I make lists of things and it helps me clear my detangled mind and set out my thoughts (somewhat) straight. 

1. I am currently loving this weather. It's bright green everywhere you look. The sun is warm on my skin. I like it.

2. I cannot wait for Memorial Day weekend. My friends/fellow Young Life leaders are going to Timberwolf Lake Camp for Leader weekend. I cannot wait to just draw closer to Jesus. 

3. I've been thinking about my call a lot recently.  I am embarking a new chapter once I start my junior year of college. Where's life going to take me? All I know is God's plan is divine and He will equip me. Ephesians 2:10. 

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

4. Community with my friends has been so good. I have been cherishing any time spent with my friends. They bring so much joy to me. 

5. I am still addicted to cookie dough. I need my own tv segment of True Life: Im addicted to cookie dough on MTV.

6. Mark Nowicki. He's great. Thankful for a boyfriend who sincerely cares for me. Even my fleeting emotions that can be a hot mess, if I am honest. 

Yes, we went to the Taylor Swift concert. She's the bomb.

 7. I cannot wait to swim in my pool. Let summer commence!

8. I have been on a sushi kick lately. Someday I want to make my own.

9. Today is going to be a chill day. I have just decided it's time to take a break.

10. It's dinner time.

Chocolate Chip Coconut Goodness

School is finally winding down, only ONE week of classes to go! With that said, I've been preoccupied with homework, but I still have gotten to spend time with some of the greatest people, my friends (call me bias). Michigan basketball killed it this year regardless of them loosing the final game. Numerous friends came over that night and it was so good to be together and laugh. So much laughing that night.

I've been really enjoying new recipes that I come across on pinterest. Baking is my go to. I just find a sense of fun and bliss in the kitchen. With that said...

To all you cookie lovers, this is for you. I recently came across a recipe that has rocked my world. Like obsessed, can't eat just one, type of cookies. With that said let me willingly introduce you to..... coconut chocolate chip cookies. With an added bonus, these are made with coconut oil instead of butter so they add a little nutrition!

Here's the recipe-

1/2 c Coconut Oil
1 c + 1 T Brown sugar (packed)
1 T vanilla
2 eggs (room temperature)
1 3/4 c flour (all-purpose or white whole-wheat works)
1/2 t salt
1 t baking powder
1/4 t baking soda
1 c semi sweet chocolate chips
1 c shredded sweetened coconut (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees
2. In a mixing bowl combine oil and sugar together. Mix till creamy and fluffy! Add in eggs and vanilla.
3. In a different bowl, combine the flour baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Mix well with whisk. Then add in small amounts the dry ingredients to the wet. Mix well. Add in the chocolate chips and coconut.
4. Drop by small rounded spoons onto baking sheet. Bake for 8-9 minutes. Let cool on cookie sheet for 1-2 minutes before removing them to a cooling rack.

 XOX

Here's to Caffeine

Due to a terrible decision, or a lack of thinking, I put regular espresso in my coffee earlier this night. So yes, I am still awake. Regretfully suffering the consequence of not using decaf. The caffeine is starting to ware off but nonetheless I am up blogging way too late for my sleepy self. Maybe there's a reason to my shenanigans, because I feel the need to share whats been weighing on my for a what I feel has been a really long time now. In all honesty, I am to the point where I just ignore it. So here it goes.. I have been feeling lonely. Which is contradicting since I have been constantly busy. School, leading, coaching, working.. you get the point.. the list seems to never end. I am not trying to convey the point of "woe me, my life is tough."What I'm saying, or rather feeling lately, is that I have been so preoccupied in doing stuff that my relationships with friends has really taken the back burner. I don't like that feeling one bit. It is a scary place to feel alone. Maybe its uncomfortable and tough to feel alone because we are not designed to be alone. We are wired and designed to be relational. I think the Lord is really working at this in my life. High school was a time where I surrounded myself constantly with people. 

And this is where my past ties in.

Theres no way I could sit here and say I did not love the friendships I had in high school. Because I truly do. I met some of the most amazing group of girls that I called my best friends during that time. They practically molded me as person during my early teenage years. They shared their hearts with me. We have memories that I will hope to never forget. But the one thing that weighs on my heart is that I did not get to share with them who Jesus is to me now. See, during those years Jesus was my savior not my Lord. I knew who he was, or had the general idea, but never thought to follow Him and live out His plan for my life. I'm going to be vulnerable as I say this, but I truly believe the reason I am not close with many of my friends back in high school is because I did not share with them the one person who was, who is, and always will be constant in my life- Jesus. I don't regret it. No, because I know the Lord is working, and in our patience His plan will prevail. I hope my friends will hear about how much they are loved by the God who created them. I cannot wait to see what He has planned for them. Because its going to be good. So good. Gosh, just thinking about where the Lord has brought me now and the friends He has truly hand-picked and surrounded me with.. I just cant help but be excited to see how these relationships will grow. I am grateful for each and everyone of you and how you share your life with me. Even though we may not always see each other very often, I am grateful. Keep being with Jesus because it's contagious. So, no, I am not alone. This world may feed us lies to believe we are, but I know that is far from true. Relationships are a gift. I don't want to ever take advantage of that. It is precious and so life-giving. 

Where I'm At

I'm not sure where I should pick back up since the last time I blogged was in June, so I will leave it at that. However, during that period of time I have grown, a lot. 

It is amazing to say I have finally learned what it means to know and have peace in life. Now I may not have it all together all the time, but that is not what it means to have peace anyways. It's the simpleness of being content in knowing Jesus is it. Resting in Him is peace. Its contagious. It is something I have struggled with for the longest time. My emotions created a war against myself and others. In fact, I have been a hot mess for the past year. I think my boyfriend could agree that I have been a little unstable. I would flare in anger or I was constantly disappointed. I hardly would cry, but if I did it was because I was overwhelmed. The problem is I was so fixed on me. Everything affected me. I lived in this lonely and suffocating bubble where I was focused on how others could please me. We arn't called to live like that though.. and I see why now. My relationships were hindered and bruised. I was hurting the ones who love me most. 

We don't have to live that way though, and that is freeing in itself. The spirt of Jesus lives within me. By his spirit I have the spirit of peace already. I never understood this. I always thought I had to strive to achieve the "fruits of the spirit" which are love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22). But nope, I was wrong. All these fruits are what Jesus is. So the more I am fixed on Jesus and being with Him, I will start to display these things. Its amazing. It's times like these where I am blown away by how real He is. Like theres no doubt in my mind He's alive and moving because of the way He has changed my life and how different I am. Even being around people who are in Jesus you can tell there is something different about them. They are encouraging. And best of all, they make me want to spend more time with Jesus. It's attractive. My greatest hope is that people will see me and they will see Jesus and crave Him. Not for my sake or glory but for His. It makes me so thankful for my friends and their hearts. They are real and genuine. They encourage me and call me out on my BS. And they make me want to spend time with Him. 

Feels good to blog again. There's a short snippet of my heart. Enjoy. 

Lay My Burdens Down

This week had more than surpassed my exceptions. It was SO amazing. To be honest I feel as if this was one of my favorite camp trips. And that is due part to the girls in my cabin. They amaze me. They had me laughing, crying, smiling, rejoicing, and so many other emotions. Each one of their hearts I have grown to love. It's so easy at times to define someone for who they are on the outside, but its the "stuff" inside of the heart that is captivating. I got to hear them be vulnerable, and for some that may have been the first time they ever shared the deep ache they bottle up. In return though, they got to hear the truth of Jesus Christ, and how He can fill that emptiness they have inside.

 During my time there I learned a lot. During one of the leader meetings, one of the head leaders of the camp said, "It's not that we have to do this, it's that we get to do this." That really struck me. Every day when I felt emotionally drained, tired, or sore I just remembered God is giving me this opportunity to build relationships with these girls and share Jesus. God could use a rock if He wants to, but, no, He chose me. Because of Him, I get to be a part of this ministry and see each of those girl's lives change as they let go of the wheel and let Christ take His rightful spot. And Jesus did just that this week. Yesterday more than half of the girls and guys from Monroe High School started a relationship with Jesus. It was incredible. Jesus is doing big things at Monroe and I am so excited to see how he uses each one of those awesome people. After the 'say so', we got to sing "Lay My Burdens Down" by Ryan Long. As we all had our arms wrapped around each other, swaying back and forth, a verse really hit me.

Amazing help no more alone
New family new heavenly home
Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
I come and lay my burdens down
(Listen Here)

They are no longer alone. Jesus is in this with them forever and even when they drift away, Jesus is going to go right there with them. THAT'S INCREDIBLE. Jesus meets you right where you're at in the midst of your struggles. He wants to be there. Jesus is all forgiving. No matter what trials you face, nothing is too great to bear with Jesus. He has conquered death, I mean come on now...

So to all my friends who have accepted Christ this week, I just want to say welcome home.

"But whatever gain I had I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.  Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him."

-Philippians 3:7-8

It's That Time of the Year..

Camping season.. Which means I am leaving for camp in 1 day. Ehem let me repeat..1 day. Words cannot express how excited I am for the girls and guys of Monroe High School to experience camp, and, most of all, to experience the living Jesus Christ. He's going to be there. Working through the leaders and changing kid's hearts. Hundred and hundreds of kids are going to here the greatest love story of all time. Young life camp is where I heard about the cross and that's when it clicked how much Jesus desires a relationship with me. Im so grateful to be a part of this ministry. My life was forever changed when I started to realize how much Jesus loves me. My leader, Brittany Pawlak, was a part of helping me to realize that. We had meaningful talks that made me question what I was really living for, and she was there through hurt and brokenness. I'm so thankful for how God placed her in my life. She's the sweetest thing ever. I can only pray to share that special bond with the girls at Monroe. I want more than anything to walk through life with them- hurt, struggle, joyfulness, bliss- you name it, I want to be there bc I want them to see Jesus.

"This is how we know that we live in Him and He in us: He has given us of His spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent His son to be the savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the son of God, God lives in them and they in God." -1 John 4:1

I Want More

You know those days that you just feel like blehhh, well that'd be today. I woke up a tad late (cough 11:15ish cough cough) and now it feels like my days just draggin along. I spent some time in the sun reading Proverbs, did a little strumming on the guitar, and now I'm blaring the song "Set a Fire" by Will Reagan as I type away. It's so so wonderful. The lyrics are a heart's cry. My heart's cry.  Take a listen. You'll thank me later.

Set A Fire by Will Reagan

There's no place I'd rather be
There's no place I'd rather be
There's no place I'd rather be
But here in Your love
Here In Your love

So set a fire down in my soul
that I cant contain, that I cant control
I want more of You, God
I want more of You God